Hockey Hag, anyone?!? April 16, 2008

I could go off about the email I got in return from B. But I won’t. I am not going to use this blog to deface people, even though you all only know him as B, and there have got to be thousands of people in the metro area who fit him as I’ve described and have “B” as their first initial. But I’ll be nice. But I’ll let you read his email…hehe. There’s nothing illegal about that is there? There was no disclosure saying it was confidential. If anyone knows any different…let me know?

“The hockey playoffs are going good!
 
Sounds like you have had a good week!
 
Yes…the time has come in your mind to define this relationship.  I am certainly not looking for the significant other and i am not looking
to get serious with anyone any time soon.  This is a bunch of girly crap indeed….but im glad you said something.   I enjoy spending time
with you….but it appears we are looking for different things…i need a hockey hag.
 
Bryan”

Oops…did I leave his name in there? Oh well. Screw him. I have no idea what a hockey hag is, but I am pretty damn sure that I am not one. Does anyone know what a hockey hag is? I am assuming it’s some nasty little hoe to watch hockey with. Which I am not. I like how he calls it girly crap.

Good ridence, B! Good luck in finding the elusive hockey hag of your dreams!

 

I did it anyway… April 16, 2008

And I did it all wrong. And by email. And I apologized for something I didn’t want to apologize for. Damn it!

So I got a lame ass email from B today, apologized for being flaky lately. Apparently he’s been busy with, get this, watching hockey, drinking and rafting. Man the stress he must have! Okay, I need to stop myself because this isn’t about bashing B, it’s about the asshole email I sent in response. Here it is, in all of it’s glory, because I want you to get the full picture of how wrong the whole email was.

“Hey,
 
Glad to hear your hockey team is doing well! That must be exciting.
 
Not sure what I am up to tonight. C is with his dad, so whatever strikes me I guess. 
 
I really don’t want to be “that girl” but I just need to be honest with you. I’d really like to have someone significant in my life, something more than casual dating. I really like you, and I have SO much fun with you but I get the impression that you aren’t looking for something serious. Which is fine, I’d just kind of like to know what it is you are looking for and what you are thinking/feeling.
 
Sorry for being all girly ;0)
 
Happy afternoon,
B”

Reasons I am mad at myself:

• I apologized for wanting to know where he is in this “relationship” we’re having. I AM 50% of it after all, I really don’t need to apologize for wanting to know his thoughts on it. Apologizing for this makes me sound like an abused girl with no self-esteem. 
• I said I was sorry for being “all girly”…eye roll…seriously. You’d think I just stepped out of a 1950’s sitcom and believed that men are better than women. Like being “all girly” is something I need to apologize for, and that men never ask questions about relationships.
• I sugar coated it all. I didn’t have the balls to come straight out and ask “What is going on? Where do you stand?” I had to surround it with pleasantries and cheesiness.

I don’t know why it came out that way. It’s not like I’m afraid to loose him. I’ve never really had him. We don’t talk often and we see one another even more inconsistently. I guess it just feels like we’re a couple when we are together and that is where the confusion lies.

So, I figured I needed to come clean on my blog, since I publicly declared here I wasn’t going to do what I did. Apparently I’m not just “all girly,” I’m also a liar!