You know what’s funny? April 23, 2008

B can’t get enough of me now!He’s always emailing me. Wanting to go to lunch, or to hang out. We haven’t actually seen each other since the Hockey Hag incident, but he emails me all the time. Like today, I’ve received…1,2,3,…..9 emails from him in the past 36 hours. (I know I said today, I’m too lazy to go back and change it!)

He wanted to hang out this weekend. I said “Sorry! I have plans on Friday night, and Girls Night on Saturday night!” Of course he heard this as “I’m having sex with some other guy Friday night, and some sort of lesbian thing on Saturday!” I told him, “No…Friday nights I now read to the homeless, legless, blind, mute, hairless monkeys at the zoo. And girls night has nothing to do with the dirty thoughts in your head.” Actually Friday night I have a date. It’s a first one. We’ll see how it goes. Of course I will keep you informed!

Random Bloggings… April 23, 2008

So…last week after the whole B/Hockey Hag thing my friend Leann sent me a text asking what a hockey hag was. “I have NO idea” was my reply. Then the next text I get from her says “I just googled it, and your blog was the first link that came up!” Oh my goodness!!! So funny! If my blog is the first hit for hockey hag, then I think B made that up!

I’d like to use this open forum to make a public apology to anyone who I have offended by the inappropriate stories I tend to tell after a few cocktails. The kind of stories that would never be told without cocktails. Friday night I was having a few cocktails with Jenny & the Dustholes (we’re coming out with an album soon….watch for it!) and told them a hilarious, yet completely inappropriate story about a sexual experience gone wrong. I started the story with “This is probably more than you guys want to know…” which should have been my clue to stop right where I was and shut my mouth. We all ended up having a good laugh at the story. Yes, it was really funny, and no, I won’t share it here. The next day though, I thought to myself, “Wow, I am sure they could have gone without knowing that!”

Jenny & the Dustholes aren’t the only ones who have had to go through that. I know there are a lot of you out there. So I’m sorry…to you all. I will work on that. I promise. And if you are ever sitting across from me, and I have a martini glass in one hand and start a sentence with “This is probably inappropriate….,” it probably is. And you should probably stuff some flatbread in my mouth!