Crap! I hate it when this happens. The annual phase of wanting to be in love has returned again. I go through phases in my life, and usually once a year I get the dreaded, heart wrenching, uncontrollable urge to be in a relationship.
For months I’ve been in my Happily Single mode. I’ve got Bryan if I want to go on a date, or hang out with a man. But I also have the freedom to meet other men and the freedom to live my own life as a single girl. No one to answer to, no one to keep tabs on me.
This morning I woke up aching for love. I blame it on the fact that I am pushing myself to get out of this semi-depressed state I have been in for a while. Mostly I think it’s the Twilight book series (I finished the 2nd book last night). They are love stories, the most romantic kind of love. The kind of love that knows absolutely no bounds. Where you would go to the end of the universe and risk your own life without a second thought, for the one you love.
Most days I think that I don’t need a man to make me happy. And I don’t. I have wonderful, amazing friends and family, a son who is more spectacular than I ever imagined a child could be, and a job that I truly enjoy. But then there are days where I’d really like a man to make me happy. Like today.
These phases are scary. I’ve been known once or twice to end up in horribly wrong relationships because I was going through one of these phases. Like the 45 year old widower who I moved in with after 2 weeks. Or the guy that went to Cabo and came back with all kinds of stories about hitting on other women.
I don’t want to make this mistake again this time. It’s hard to be hopefull when I’m so cynical about relationships.
So, my dear internet friends, I ask this favor of you…If I start writing about “the perfect man” I’ve met and he sounds sketchy…he probably is. Tell me to wake the hell up, open my eyes and that I don’t NEED a man, I just WANT one. But if I do meet a man and he does seem really great, feel free to send wedding gifts!
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