Ah…This Is It May 28, 2009

I am home.

I haven’t been on vacation, or anywhere foreign or fabulous. Just in transition. Which as it turns out, I kind of really enjoyed.

But now, now I am home. Today the Comcast Guy came and hooked up my cable and Internet. I am working from my new “office” which is really just a little nook off of the kitchen. But I like it, a lot. I have big plans for this office. Big things are going to happen here. Lots of awesomeness is going to radiate from this little nook.

As I sit here, I feel at home. I can hear Sushi Boy watching Prison Break in the living room. Sunny is crashed at my feet, stretched out along the cold kitchen floor exhausted from his evening walk with us through our new neighborhood. I still have a garage full of boxes, but the bedrooms are all functional as well as every other room in our home. Christian comes home tomorrow, and I am so excited. The house has really come together since he left for his dad’s last Friday.

I am very eager to get my hands in the dirt out back and start growing things! We have lovely purple and white Iris’ growing out front by our mailbox. They are very pretty. Sushi Boy and I have drawn up our plans for our chicken coop. Our chickens are going to be living the high life!

Good things are going to happen here. I am so excited about the possibilities, and the inspiration that is so abundant here.

This is home.

8 Days, Huh? May 21, 2009

I do not have my son for 8 days. I’m used to the typical 7 days that I have to make it through while he is with his dad. But 8 days just may be pushing it.

So, I have 8 days which include a holiday weekend. On my To Do list:

• Get boxes unpacked, or at least stored in the garage if they are marked “Boys Toys”
• Organize my closet. This actually makes me giddy with excitement
• Plant tomatoes in my yard!!!
• Work, work, work my butt off
• Enjoy at least 4 whole hours at a time that include no work, a beer or six, and me trying to get my legs as tan as my arms are
• Finish reading “A Million Little Pieces” by James Frey which I just uncovered in a box.

Wish me luck, my loves! I will document my endeavors and share!

If You Were To Ask Me 10 Years Ago… May 19, 2009

I would have never guessed that at 29 I would be a work at home domestic goddess in the making. But that is the direction I am heading, and oddly enough I’m thrilled with it!

Last night as Sushi Boy and I fell into bed at midnight, I set my alarm for 6am. We cuddled up, and started getting lovey dovey. Then we both decided, “Forget this! We are tired!” We said I love you, rolled over to opposite sides of the bed, and let the sandman creep in.

So when the alarm went off at 6, Sushi Boy reminded me that it was my alarm and I hopped out of bed to start my quest to be a good mom and girlfriend. I threw on some kid appropriate pj’s and stumbled my way to the kitchen. I warmed up some of yesterdays coffee, and proceeded to gather all of the makings for a filling pancake and bacon breakfast for my boys. Sushi Boy’s son came wondering into the kitchen a few minutes later and kept me company as I made breakfast. When breakfast was ready, I woke up Christian and the three of us sat down to enjoy a nice leisurely breakfast together. After we were done, I loaded the dishwasher, instructed the boys to change their clothes and brush their teeth and went in to snuggle Sushi Boy awake.

Sushi Boy took off with both breakfast and lunch in hand, and Christian in tow. I loaded up his son and took him to school. Now I am back home, drinking my 2nd cup of coffee and creating a game plan for my day which encompasses: unpacking, organizing, working, finding a recipe for dinner, walking the dog, picking up Sushi Boy’s son from school, sitting through an hour of swimming lessons, making dinner, and afterwards, collapsing with an ice cold beer. Oh, and somewhere along the way…a shower. Maybe even dust off my makeup if I have an extra minute.

This domestic crap is exhausting!

It is unexpectedly rewarding though. I have a friend who is a stay at home mom to 2 adorable little girls. Between all of her playgroups, moms groups, carpools and her social life she is one of the busiest women I know! On our trip to Vegas last year, we were talking about a book she was reading, I think it was called, “The Happy Housewife,” or something along those lines. From my perspective then, it sounded like a bunch of 50’s style male dominated crap. I was a single woman and mom who worked full-time, and “domestic” was the last word used to describe me. The thought of doing something like getting up an hour before my partner to make breakfast and clean the kitchen sounded absurd! Why the hell would I do that?!? “He can make his own damn breakfast,” is what I likely thought.

I am beyond shocked at how much pleasure I got out of having a hot breakfast on the table for my house of boys this morning. Instead of scrambling out the door at the last minute, throwing a granola bar and juice box into the hands of the boys to consume in the car, they actually had time this morning to read before school!

For the first time in a long time, I finally feel like I have direction. It is certainly not the direction I thought I would be going, but I couldn’t be happier with it. It is so amazingly fulfilling.

Now to work! And maybe to amazon.com to see if I can find that book! Who the hell am I?!?

Friday Randomness (For Lack of a Better Title) May 15, 2009

There have been a bunch of little things going on in my head and life that I’ve wanted to blog about, but none seem to be whole post worthy. So…snippets from the Land of Sushi:

Tomorrow night I get to go to PROM! Single Parent Night Out is starting a monthly night out in downtown Portland. With our first in an ongoing series of fun parties, we are having a Single Parent Flashback Prom tomorrow evening! Its a Glam It Up or Ham It Up kind of thing, and I think I will be going Glam. I mean, how often as adults in a casual city like Portland do we get to get all dressed up and fancy?!? Not often enough, in my opinion!

(For more info on Prom, you can contact me, or go to www.iheartsingleparents.com)

I am so in love with our new home, and can’t wait to get my hands in the dirt! We are going to have a beautiful garden. I just hope I can actually grow something!

My grandma had a minor stroke Wednesday morning. She seems to be doing okay, but is still in the hospital for some tests and observation. If you all could spare, sending some healthy vibes her way would be appreciated!

Anyone watch Prison Break? Sushi Boy and I are on Season 3. I can’t believe I didn’t follow my friend Jeanette’s advice and start watching it sooner! I’m on the 4th episode of Season 3 and have yet to see Scofields tattoos! I hope they make an appearance soon, they are awesome!

I get my little man back today, and I cannot wait to see him and bring him home to our new house!

Matt and his fiance have decided to get married THIS summer! July 3rd! I think they are both totally crazy for planning it so soon, but am very happy for them both. They have been engaged for a long time, and finally just decided to do it!

I hope you all have a lovely weekend! It is supposed to be in the mid-80s all weekend here, I am so stoked! Christian has basketball tomorrow day, then Prom Saturday night. And on Sunday is my friend Abby’s baby shower! Good, good times. And of course, getting settled into our new house!

Celebrate Good Times, C’mon! May 14, 2009

We found the perfect house! As I write this, I am sitting in my very own backyard! We got the keys last night, and Sushi Boy and I slept on the floor, cuddled together sleeping bags. I am such a happy girl right now!

Even though we have been living together for months, this feels so new and exciting. This is OUR house, where WE will make memories together.

The house is great! The boys will each have their own room, and I get my own bathroom! Well, technically I will share it with Sushi Boy, but it is better than sharing it with 3 males!

We have a great fenced in back yard, with an area for a garden, a large shop and an area and coop for chickens! Yay for chickens and fresh eggs! Sunny, our dog, is such a happy camper being able to run in and out of the house into the backyard whenever he wants! Right now he is staring at the tiny neighbor dog through the fence who is barking his head off, like “What IS your problem?!?” He is such a good dog, our Sunny Bunny.

We are in a great little neighborhood, where the boys can ride their bicycles up and down the street without having to worry about traffic. We are also only about 4 blocks and a giant field away from Sushi Boys parents place!

Neither of the boys have seen it yet, and I can’t wait until I get Christian back tomorrow to show him our new home. Its nothing outrageously spectacular, but it is ours and it is perfect! Sushi Boy and I are so on the same wave length when it comes to what we want to do with the place. I can’t wait to get our stuff in here and start decorating our home.

Pictures to come soon!

What A Good Day! May 11, 2009

This last week has been even more insane than usual. We moved everything out of Sushi Boys house to move into somewhere more affordable. That was taken care of Thursday, Friday, Saturday and first thing Sunday morning. Sunday morning we moved the last load, cleaned up th house and then I took of to Eugene.

I went to Eugene to see my mom for Mothers Day. In a complete stroke of luck, Matt actually had Christian in Eugene with him this weekend, so my sister picked up my son and met me at Mom’s with him. It was soooo nice. Mom, me and Brandi, my two nieces Riley and Julia and my son Christian. We sat in the grass picnic style and opened gifts, shared stories and generally just enjoyed eachothers company.

I am really looking forward to healing my relationship with my mom. I feel like we have the opportunity to start fresh, and put the past behind us. Apparently there hasn’t really been much of my life that she has been sober. I’m excited to know who she is clean.

Mom has put some weight back on her tiny little skeleton and is looking really good. She has taken on some leadership roles, and is a “big sister” for new entrants into the program. She designed and made a big Mothers Day display and hand made cards for all of the mothers in the program. It really, really warms my heart to see this version of Mom come back to life. It is honestly like seeing someone who has risen from the dead. This version of Mom has been gone for a long, long time. I kinda forgot about her.

Against my better judgement I am getting my hopes up. I know that odds are stacked against her, that she will continue to be drug free. But I love this version of Mom so much. I have missed this version of her so intensely, I have made myself forget about her.

I don’t want to have to forget about her again. I want her to continue to be this Mom. This happy, loving, giving, artistic Mom.

Yes! May 6, 2009

I’m sitting here at the kitchen table, helping my son write a outline for a speech he has to give in 2 weeks. He had to choose someone to write a biography on, and he we will make a 2 to 3 minute speech acting as his choosen person. He chose Tony Hawk, which is no surprise to me.

I am in shock and awe at the maturity level of this project. It coincides with everything they are doing and learning in the class room, but I guess I’m still in denial that my little man has grown up so much!

I don’t know why I’m in such a nostolgic spot right now, but boy oh boy! My boy is growing up way too quickly! He’s so fun right now though. I love having intelligent conversations with him, and having him point out things I hadn’t thought about yet.

I am so happy I just said yes! I was very on the fence about having a child. I was only 19 when I realized I may be pregnant. Matt and I had only been dating for 2 and a 1/2 months, and had just moved to Portland 6 days prior. I was scared and unsure, but I chose yes. Yes to a baby, yes to being a mother, yes to the unknown.

It was a great, amazing thing to say yes to!

Oink Oink May 5, 2009

A case of the Swine Flu has been reported in Sushi Boy’s sons school district. So we got the call Sunday night that his school is closed Monday and Tuesday. This is my week with Christian, and although his school wasn’t cancelled, I let him stay home yesterday. I sent him to school today though and boy was he mad! Which I can’t say I blame him. If I was in his position I’d be pissed off too!

I worked my butt off all day yesterday around the house. I literally did not sit down once from the time I got out of bed in the morning until I sat down for dinner. Who knew house work could leave you so sore? Aye aye aye!

Okay, off to work! I have a ton of motivation right now and am not going to let it go to waste!

Son Of Ginormica May 2, 2009

I am sitting on a bench outside of an elementary school, watching my son play basketball with 4 of his peers, and his dad – the coach. His team had pictures today, and now we have an hour to kill before his game. (Awesome job on the scheduling whoever planned that one! Thank you!)

I am the unoffical Queen of Inappropriate Dressing. Not like slutty inappropriate, but stilletos in snow, dresses in a windstorm, that sort of thing. So today I have on flipflops a summer skirt and tanktop. Its May, no big deal right? Wrong! I live in Oregon, so that means intermitant rain showers today, and I don’t have a coat with me. So you know what I’m wearing? My 8 year old sons sweatshirt!

It totally fits me, I am beyond shocked! I mean I am 6 feet tall and not built like a supermodel, and Christian is defiitely not a chunky kid by any stretch of the imagination. Of course it is more fitted on me than him. This has forced me to abandon my state of denial I’ve been living in, and realize my little boy is closer to being a young man.

He is definitely one of the taller boys in the 3rd grade. His height was never really a question, unless some sort of genetic mutation happened. I’m 6 feet tall and his dad is 6′1. Christian, you can thank us later! He has followed in the giant footsteps of his mama, and always been a head above the rest of the class in height (literally.)

He has his first blackhead on his nose, which he refuses to let me take care of no matter how much he begs me. So he is now using my face wash in the shower. He also is using deodarant.on a daily basis. He will no longer will pee in the bathroom if I’m in there, even with a promise that I will turn the other way. His feet are huge, and his size jeans are too short again.

His face has similar features to mine, but his expressions are all his dad as is his lanky yet muscular body. He has been “blessed” with a lighter colored version of my thick hair. We are in a growing it out phase right now. He wants long, rockstar hair.

Next month he will be nine years old. I hope nine isn’t the age where he becomes too old to sit on my lap and cuddle when he is sad. I hope that I’m still cool when he is nine.