2008 in Review December 31, 2008

(I don’t know why it staggers the pictures I post like it does! I’ve tried to fix it, and it just doesn’t change! I apologize, it drives me crazy!)

2008 was a tumultuous year for me. It had very high ups and very low downs. Overall, I am glad to see it go!

I started 2008 as the maid of honor in one of my best friends NYE wedding.

 

 

 

 

January was also the month that I turned 28. My friend Liz and I celebrated our birthday’s together, as they are just 10 days apart. (I’m still not quite sure why Leann thought Bunny Ears were a necessity, but they were fun!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

I then, got to celebrate my birthday again with my Girls Night Girls, because 3 of us have birthdays within 2 weeks of one another! My beautiful friends, and fellow Aquarians, Jamie and Jeanette!

 

 

 

 

I decided at 28 I needed to really get serious about taking care of myself. The day after turning 28 I quit drinking and smoking and started running. That lasted for about 2 weeks until my “heart thing” started. Apparently when your heart stops beating every 3-6 beats that can make you black out and requires 2 months of appointments with specialists and tests. Turns out I’m okay, just a slight ventricle problem. All is A-OK now, as long as I don’t drink too much caffeine.

February brought the birth of my gorgeous niece Julia Gulia. I was fortunate enough to be there again when my sister delivered. She is one tough bitch, that sister of mine. I am so incredibly proud of her!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Spring wasn’t incredibly eventful. I started this blog, which I love having. I had started dating B, and was enjoying being healthy. I started drinking little by little again, which lead to smoking again. Bad Brooke. Also, I broke my digital camera sometime in the Spring and there are not a ton of pictures from that time period!

Sadly in April, my dear friend Terri died in a tragic motorcycle accident. I’d never lost anyone unexpectedly and the sadness was intensified by deep guilt as we hadn’t seen one another in almost a year. Terri changed my life in many ways, and she will never be forgotten by any of the lives that she touched.  

 

 

 

 

 

Also in April, one of my best friends Leann gave birth to her second baby girl, and I got to be there when beautiful baby Alyssa made her entrance into this world. Leann was a champ, and both mama and baby were happy and healthy!

In June my beautiful baby boy turned 8 years old. We had a super fun birthday party for him at a pizza parlor with a great play room, including a miniature Ferris Wheel. I unfortunately can’t seem to find pictures of his party. Bad, bad, mom.

The end of June was time for me and a few of my girls to unwind…which meant a nice long weekend in Las Vegas. We relaxed, we partied, we gambled, and we had a great time. We stayed at the beautiful Planet Hollywood Hotel and Resort, and loved every minute of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The summer of 2008 also brought Christian’s first white water rafting trip. We took a 4 day excursion on the Rogue River with about 20 of our closest friends. C had fun while we were there, but has told me adamantly that he WILL NOT be going next year, because it was too scary. (He didn’t fall out once, and we didn’t go down any rapids that were too treacherous.) I bet once we get some swimming lessons under his belt he’ll be game for it again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In September it was back to school. My little man changed schools this year, and has adjusted so well to his new school. It is quite a small school, and the community there is so great. He is really flourishing and has made a ton of great new friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

September was a hard month for me emotionally. There was a lot that went on in my family, and my sister bore the brunt of it. She is so strong and amazing. The love in her heart is so endless. She has her hands full as it is, and I’m not quite sure how she survived September. There are a lot of on going issues with my mother, and unfortunately she is in need of help that neither my sister or I are able to provide to her and she refuses to find herself. September was the crux of the issues. I am so thankful that my sister and I have one another, and our amazing dad, to lean on

October was thankfully a brighter, happier month in my life. C and I enjoyed some Friday night high school football games, watching a friends son play varsity football. I joined a lovely website for single parents to network and support one another, and inadvertently met an amazing man in Sushi Boy. Our first date lasted an entire weekend. After that weekend I knew that someone special had entered my life. Well, two special someones. Not only did I gain an amazing boyfriend, I get an extra cool 9 year old boy to spend time with too!

Less than a week after meeting, Sushi Boy took me to his friend’s Halloween party, and he told me he loved me. I chastised him for telling me that so soon into our relationship, but secretly I was giddy. (This picture would be great, if I didn’t have a beer in my hand!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day as Sushi Boy hauled me to the Emergency Room I told him I loved him too. It was a scary thing to say one week into a relationship, but that was how I felt. I was totally and completely in love with him already.

November and December have been amazing times with Sushi Boy and the C-Men. We all got to spend Thanksgiving together with Sushi Boy’s family. Sushi Boy took us all fishing (we didn’t catch anything.) Sushi Boy, Christian and I travelled to my hometown together to celebrate my favorite aunt’s 50th Birthday, and we were all snowed in together for the better part of 2 weeks. We had a lovely White Christmas together.

These last 2 months have been pure heaven. Thank you so much, Sushi Boy, for an incredibly holiday season. Being with you and the boys is the best gift a woman could ask for. I’m so excited to see what 2009 has in store for us and the boys!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year, friends! I am so grateful for all you wonderful people that I have had the opportunity to meet through this blog, and all of my beautiful friends I have in my life. It amazes me that you read my blabber, but I don’t think any less of you for it! I hope you all have a lovely New Years Eve, and stay safe! I’ll see you on the flip side!

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice November 11, 2008

There is going to be a precious bundle of little girl coming into my life in February. No, I’m not pregnant. That would be the quickest pregnancy ever!

Sushi Boy’s ex-girlfriend is pregnant. I knew about this before we even met in person. He was been completely open about the baby and the baby’s mother (from here on out known as Baby Mama) from the beginning. Of course a paternity test will be done, and Sushi Boy plans on being in the babies life as much as possible. By as much as possible I don’t mean every other weekend. I mean at least 50% of the time.

I have no doubt in my mind that Sushi Boy and I will still be together when the baby is born.

I know that this baby is not my baby. But this baby is going to be more present in my life than any baby other than my own has ever been. And its a girl!!! I am so excited. I am having a hard time refraining from buying every cute pink and brown outfit I see in stores.

I’ve always been on the fence about wanting another kid. I’m getting older by the day, and so is Christian. I wasn’t so sure I’d want to start over again when C is in middle school (or later!) if I ever met that special man. So this is kind of nice. I didn’t have to make any decisions. This baby is not mine. But I get to experience the joy of having her in my life. I get to spoil her and teach her. I get to dress her in pink and put bows in her hair. I get to listen to coo’s and baby giggles. I get to have a baby in my life again!

Now, I’m sure some of you are still freaking out about the sentence a few paragraphs back about being positive Sushi Boy will still be in my life 4 months from now. I’m so serious. I’ve never been more positive of anything else in my life. He’s it. He’s the man I didn’t think existed. The one who is perfect for me. Not perfect…I’m smart enough to know there is no such thing. I’m not perfect, I would never expect my partner to be. I want to wake up to this man every morning for the rest of my life and fall asleep in his arms every night. 

So this precious bundle of pink…she doesn’t know what she’s in for. I have nieces who are my perfect princesses, but they live far away. I have girlfriends with little girls, and I love the crap out of them too. But this baby, this baby is in for it. In my world, everything will be pink and shiny and sparkly and frilly. She’s going to OD on pink by the time she’s 9 months old, the same age at which I’m sure her dad will be trying to teach her to drive a race car.

P.S. I know all of this makes me sound like some crazy lunatic of a lady. But I’m okay with that!

Doubt October 15, 2008

I was really apprehensive about this new custody schedule. I went from having Christian on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursdays every week, to having him for one entire week and then not having him for one entire week. After my first week of initial freak out while he was gone, I’m doing really well with it. Not that it is about me, Christian is doing really well too.

With the previous custody arrangement, I rarely had to make choices about choosing my social life over my son. Matt had C every weekend, so I would just make plans around that. If there was, let’s say a concert, in the middle of the week that I wanted to go to, Matt and I would just switch days. I’ve only ever once hired someone to watch my son (outside of work hours) (and outside of the few times friends have volunteered to watch C when I was close to loosing my mind) and that was when Matt was, let’s call it, unavailable due to previous commitments.  I’ve been very fortunate that I’ve never had to make the choice between having somewhat of a social life, and spending time with my son.

Now that I have Christian for an entire week, including a full weekend, I do have the predicament of making a decision between adult activities with my friends and spending time with my son. I was a little worried at first that I would somewhat resent staying home with my son on a Saturday night, when my friends were out partying it up. I know that sounds awful, but if I can’t be honest here, where can I be? So far, I have loved every minute of it.

A friend is turning 30 soon, and is having a huge themed birthday extravaganza the next weekend I have C. I contemplated trying to find a sitter so I could go to the party. After having spent this last weekend with him, trying to inhale his being every chance I got, there is no question. Sure, the party would be fun. But spending 2 hours re-creating the Krusty Krab Lego set for the tenth time while eating popcorn and making my son laugh when I do a Squidward impression leaves no doubt in my mind what my choice is. I choose my son.

This makes me feel more maternal than any other moment has, with the exception of giving birth. As I have mentioned here, being a mother was never in my game plan. Which does not mean that I have ever resented the choice Matt and I made. The day I found out I was pregnant, I was filled with love for my child. I have always tried to make the best decisions for him, he has always been the center of my universe since the day he was born. I haven’t often been in the position of choosing to spend time with Christian or with my friends. Knowing that there is no question about what I want to do makes me feel for the first time that I am supposed to be a mother.

Who Knew I’d Have the Same Thoughts at 28, As I Did at 8 September 30, 2008

From the time I was 5 years old I knew that the small town I grew up in was too damn small for me. When I was 8 I was invited to be in a Little Princess Beauty Pageant, or some crap like that. I immediately started designing the gown I would wear when I was crowned Princess of All Other 8 Year Old Princesses.

As it turned out, the pageant was a big scheme for money. I didn’t participate in the pageant, but I continued designing dresses. And shoes. And sportswear, handbags and any clothing item that struck my fancy. I started watching Fashion File on E! (although I’m not sure if E! was around back then, maybe it was on a different channel then.) By the time I was 9 I was in love with Andre Leon Talley and Isaac Mizrahi. Not only was I probably the only kid in my small town who knew who these two were in the late 1980’s, but quite possibly the only person  in town who knew of these two genius men.

From that point on, I was going to be a fashion designer. That was my dream, my goal and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind. I was not just going to be some schmuck who worked for a sweatshop type company. I was going to be a Big Name, walk the red carpet, show my new lines at Fashion Week, and rub shoulders with Anna Wintour. That species of a fashion designer. My sister and I had it all planned out. I would be making a gazillion dollars a year, and she would live with me and cook for me. She would be the Cacee Cobb to my Jessica Simpson.

For years I drew and designed clothing and accessories. I always had a sketch book and colored pencils around for when inspiration struck. I was intimately familiar with the curriculum of Parsons Design School and Rhode Island School of Design by the time I was in high school. I had my eye set on the prize. And then I took a journalism class Fall of my Junior year in high school and that’s where things changed.

Within weeks I was promoted from first-semester staff writer for our high school magazine, to Editor In Chief. I loved it. It was creative and gratifying, as I was good at it. The praise from our advisor made me feel like a million bucks. Journalism was only a semester long class, but I followed it through until I graduated.

Sometime during my Junior year I decided that journalism was IT for me. I would weave my passion for fashion and my love for journalism and major in Magazine Journalism at one of the countries top 5 Journalism schools. I was going to be the Editor In Chief of Vogue. My mind was set, my plan was in place, and I was accepted to the college of my choice.

My plan did not account for the dynamics of college. I went from being an overly scheduled, over-achieving high school student who never had to study, to a college Freshman who had no responsibility and no one to answer to. I was surrounded in the dorms by people I loved to hang out with. It wasn’t long into my first semester of classes that I decided I hated journalism classes and preferred to watch reruns of Beverly Hills 90210 with the girls in my dormitory. As you can imagine, this choice did not do great things for my grades. Neither did the weekday nights spent binge drinking, and trips to other colleges to party.

After getting measly scores in my classes during my first (and only) year at college, I returned to my home town for the summer. I was in a very strange place. I had never not known what I was going to do with my life, what the goals I was working towards were. I was flailing.

Not long after returning home, I was reconnected with my first love, Matt. I broke up with my current boyfriend, whose name was also Matt, and began dating First Love Matt. It was a whirlwind, which led to me not going back to college in the Fall and moving to Portland. My plan was to go to community college beginning Winter term to get the rest of my general classes taken care of, and hopefully discover what my new passion was, hoping that I did have one.

As it turned out my new passion would not be found in a class room. It was growing in my uterus. A week after moving to Portland and starting a life that I knew nothing about or where it would lead, I discovered I was going to be a mother. This scared the shit out of me, as I had never planned on being a mother. I was going to be a fashion designer, or a high powered magazine editor. I was going to throw parties where guests would be famous and fashionable, not knee-high and covered in frosting.

Becoming a mother has been more than I have ever imagined it could be. You see the world through different eyes when you no longer have just yourself to look out for. You cannot accurately describe what it is like to be a mother to anyone other than a mother. Even then, there are not proper words, the other person just knows. It is hard to describe the all consuming feeling of loving someone immeasurably.

My son is now 8, and as hard as I try to make it, time does not seem to be slowing down any. Before I know it he will no longer think that I am worthy of spending an entire weekend with. His friends will be his priority, and I will be forced to find something else to occupy my time. This has led me back full circle to when I was 8. 20 years ago when I was my son’s age, and drew a dress that would never be sewn. I have yet to be disinterested in fashion or the fashion industry. It is a dream that I have never been able to shake, and a regret I will think of on my death bed if I don’t do this. I think it may be time to become familiar with the curriculum of a fashion design program again.

Of course, this second round of researching colleges, curriculum, and course loads will be much altered. The parameters will be drastically different. Not only will I have to support myself and my child while in school, I will have to schedule my education around his and around sustaining our home. All of the time I spent as a child and adolescent planning my education will be fruitless this time around. Everything will be as foreign to me as the concept of having a child was 9 years ago.

But look at how well that has turned out!

Ahhh…So Much Better September 29, 2008

I’ve had my baby home since Friday night and have been in an immensely better mood. Everything is right with the world now.

We had a great weekend together. We went to a friend’s house for dinner on Friday night, and hung out with another friend and her kids on Saturday morning. The rest of the weekend I smothered Christian in alone time with me.

We had a lot of fun playing board games, watching Spiderman and taking the dogs for a walk (our roommate had 2 small dogs.) I made dinner both nights, from scratch! I haven’t been a big fan of cooking in the past. Cooking a big meal for myself and C isn’t very rewarding. Typically he complains about how gross the food is that he hasn’t even tasted yet. This past year he has gotten a lot better about trying new foods though. And having a roommate who is grateful for a home cooked meal makes it more enjoyable for me as well. I even made meatballs for the first time ever! They were pretty tasty if I do say so myself!

All in all I am feeling so much better. I have my boy back til Friday. What kind of crazy mess would I be if I had never have gotten pregnant?!?

One more day! One more day! September 25, 2008

One more day and I get my baby back! Yes, I know he’s 8, but I will always call him my baby. I know he hates it, but it’s something that just can’t be changed.

Oh, how I have missed him. I know this first week is the hardest. I’m sure that it will get easier. I cannot wait to see him tomorrow! My heart aches I miss him so much.

The Funk September 24, 2008

Now, on any typical day The Funk I am referring to would be actual Funk. Funkadellic. Funky Town. Funk Music. I love me some Funk.

I am on Day 5 without my son, and it sucks ass. I miss him something fierce. I have been very good at distracting myself, which mostly avoids me going home as home reminds me of my little man.

When you are in a funk, what do you do to cheer yourself up? And please, whatever you do, do not tell me Yoga. I am all for Yoga, but not Yoga while I’m sad. I’d probably cry. Yoga makes me emotional.

Tasty, Tasty September 19, 2008

One good thing has come out of this freaking cold weather. And that is the enjoyment of a Starbucks Venti Non-Fat No Whip Cinnamon Dulce Latte. In the warm weather I usually stick to just a regular cup o’ joe brewed in the office. When the weather outside is frightful though, I like to treat myself.

This morning was cold, and yesterday was colder. I told Christian to speed his little hiney up this morning so we could enjoy a few moments together at Starbucks. It was so, so yummy. Heaven in my mouth. And he was beyond stoked that I let him have a chocolate donut for breakfast.

It was nice to have a little extra one on one time with him this morning. Matt will pick him up after school today and have him for a week. One whole entire week. The only time I have not seen Christian for a week is the 2 times I’ve been to Mexico since he has been born. I wish I had something tropical and warm to distract me for this next week. It’s going to be rough!

Finally something nice to say! September 15, 2008

Freaking hurray!

Ever since school started Matt and I have been fighting tooth and nail about how this is working. I am taking my lunch from 2:30-3:30 everyday to pick up C from school and drive him to the sitters, then back to work. It’s a nice little 20 mile road trip I get to take everyday in addition to the 50 mile road trip I get to take to get to work and back home. I love the extra one on one time with C, but it is seriously cutting into my work day, and I think adding to me gradually increasing stress levels.

Today we finally figured out a mutually beneficial solution, which also encompasses a more equal custody arrangement!

From now on, I will have C for one entire week, and then Matt will have him for an entire week. During the week that I have him, I will be in charge of getting him to school, after school, etc. During the week Matt has him, he will be in charge of transportation. This is going to make it so much easier, and let me not have to deal with Matt as much!

Typically I don’t mind dealing with Matt, as we have become good friends. But in the last month or so he’s been a total douche. I think he is under a lot of stress, with his fiance being all knocked up, and all. There is absolutely no reason for him to take it out on me, but he does.

It will be a hard adjustment to not see C for a week at a time, but it will be so nice to finally get full weekends with him again! I miss our Saturday morning coffee and snuggle time.

At least there is a light at the end of this tunnel!

I feel so cheated! September 9, 2008

I’m sure I have mentioned this before, but my sister’s fiance is Mexican. Being involved in his family over the past few years has made me realize that as a Caucasian American I kind of missed out on some cool traditions!

The quinceanera for Luis’s sister was amazing. All of their family, extended family and friends chipped in to help throw this huge party (they are called God Parents). They decorated the venue themselves, they had two different bands, and amazing home made food. This was my first quinceanera, and I was awe-struck. For those of you reading who have never been to a quinceanera, there is a traditional dance that is done during the celebration that involves a variety of traditions depicting the girl maturing into a woman. Her family was all involved in the dance, as well as about 9 little girls who are all close friends or relatives of the family. It was absolutely beautiful.

I’m not Mexican, so I didn’t get a quinceanera when I turned 15. I’m not Jewish, so I didn’t get a bat mitzfah. I’m not southern, so there was no debutant ball. And we weren’t super rich, so I didn’t get a Super Sweet 16. Brandi and I were talking about this on Saturday night, and neither of us even remember what we did to celebrate our 16th birthdays.

There are small traditions that we had as kids, that I try to make sure live on. On Christmas Eve, my sister and I always opened two presents. One was a pair of pajamas. I try to make sure I get C new pj’s every Christmas and let him open them and one other present on Christmas Eve. It’s nothing major, but we didn’t really have any major traditions growing up.

My mom did always make a big deal out of our birthday’s, and I continued that as well. Matt and I try to make C’s birthday a really special day for him.

I really feel like I need to make a better effort to develop traditions now with Christian. They just feel so special. He’s already 8 years old. Most likely I only have another 10 years with him in the house. That seems like such a small amount of time.

Do you have traditions you keep alive? Are they traditions you’ve created, or handed down from your parents?

Holy Fright! September 4, 2008

My “baby” is in 3rd grade. His 4th year of elementary school. Where the hell did the time go?

His first day was Tuesday. He was nervous, as he had to switch schools. Again. I am the worst mom in the world, it’s totally my fault. I don’t even want to talk about it, I feel so horrible about it.

Thankfully, my kid is one hell of a trooper. Matt said this is only making him stronger. I have to agree. Yesterday was Day 2 of 3rd grade and he had already made two new friends! One of them even wrote him two notes. Which I thought was hilarious, because I didn’t know boys wrote notes to one another. I thought that was strictly a girl thing. Oh the things I will learn raising a boy.

He’s going to a much smaller school this year, and it’s actually K-8. Which is totally bizzaro for me. I mean even growing up in BFE in Hicksville, we had 2 middle schools. He does have the option to go to a traditional middle school for 6-8 if he wants. Or he can go to a specialized school for 6-12, assuming at 5th grade he knows what he wants to do for the rest of his life! Ha! I find that incredibly amusing, but am happy there are so many options. That part is pretty cool.

I am so proud of him. Not that he has done something monumental by attending the 3rd grade, or that he has overcome some huge adversity. He’s just such a cool kid. And he goes with the punches. Even though I’ve always been mature for my age, he’s had to endure his parents growing up a little while he is growing up.

Christian, if you ever find your way to my unholy blog, I’m sorry, you must be completely embarrassed. But know that I am so incredibly proud of you. You are my little rockstar!

He may look like his dad, but he’s all me! August 28, 2008

Well, I guess not all me. He does have some of his dad’s qualities, but sometimes the qualities that C has picked up from me just shine through. For example, his over the top graciousness when he gets something he wants.

My roommate Darryl is working over by C’s sitter today, and offered to pick up C when he was off of work so I wouldn’t have to drive an extra 10 miles out of my way. I wanted to run it past C first to make sure he was okay with that. So I called C, and this was his response, “Oh yes. Yes, please! That would be just great!” I could hear the smile on his face.

I felt like I was talking to a 40-something sales lady at Macy’s, not my 8 year old boy. I laughed, to which of course C wanted to know what I was laughing about. I could only reply, “You are so funny, my little man. I love you so, so, so much!”

This picture is kind of old, but I love it. It was taken last October at Leann’s daughters birthday party. The cocked head, the wide eyes, the slight bit of attitude that he’s projecting. Man, I love this boy. I cannot believe he is going into 3rd grade. Where o where does the time go?

Oh Technology… August 11, 2008

Saturday I got a series of 2 unusual text messages. The first text message was something along the lines of, “Welcome to Game Help Online, please call 1-800-etc-etc. for help, a $19.99 monthly fee will be charged to your phone bill.” And the second text message gave me a password.

Now not being 1)online right then, or 2)Having any intrest in video games it didn’t take me more than a minute or 2 to figure out how this had happened. I called Matt immediately, as C was with him. I told him what the messages said, and asked him if C was online. He said that he was, and he would take care of it.

Now, I’m not really upset at Christian for this. It will hopefully be taken care of very easily. But I am a little disturbed that neither Matt nor his fiance was paying attention to what our EIGHT YEAR OLD SON was doing online. That’s all taken care of though. And I am disturbed that all Christian had to do was give them a phone number to subscribe to something! He didn’t even know he was subscribing to something. He didn’t give them a name, email address or anything. Just a ten digit phone number. And I thought it was a smart thing for him to have my number memorized! Ha!

So this morning we are making the now hour long commute to the sitter, and Christian says to me, “Mom, can I have a MySpace page?” What the fuck?!? Are you kidding me? My jaw dropped. I was expecting, “Mom, can i have a new video game?” or “Mom, can I have a piece of gum?” I would have actually been better prepared for, “Mom can I have a spaceship flown by hot pink monkeys?” But a MySpace page?!? I didn’t even think he knew what MySpace was! Apparently I am incredibly naive. I somehow was able to spit out, “WHY?” He told me he wants to play “Mobsters,” which is some new application that’s making its way around MySpace, and that apparently his dad plays.

Oh good lord! Christian asked why he couldn’t have a MySpace, and I told him he was too young. He asked how old he had to be. At that moment I really wanted to tell him 25, but instead told him 15.

Do your kids have a MySpace page? What do you think the appropriate age is?

A reality show for kids? August 6, 2008

Recently my 8 year old son has fallen in love with Total Drama Island on Cartoon Network. It is an animated reality show aimed at 8-12 year olds. The first time he watched it, I sat down and watched it with him. Wikipedia told me that it is the first cartoon outside of Adult Swim to have a PG rating. Hmm. Matt and I are relatively liberal with what we let Christian watch. Obviously we have our limits (no sex scenes, no over the top violence, horror or blood and guts.) So the PG rating didn’t really bother me.

Once I figured out the basis for Total Drama Island (22 teenagers on an island, the game is played kind of like Survivor, the last one on the island wins $100,000) I was totally perplexed. Why the hell do kids need reality show? As a society are we really so tapped out on creativity that we can’t even come up with some outlandish plot for a cartoon??? Let’s face it, kids will watch pretty much anything if it’s animated!

I’ve thought a lot about it, and I’m still not sure if it makes sense to me or not. On one hand, I get it. The rest of the “grown up world” is all consumed with reality television, why wouldn’t kids be? It is kind of genius of the creators because kids are going to keep tuning back in to see who wins. 

But on the other hand, it still kind of pisses me off that we’re starting our kids so young on reality television. As an adult I would love to be able to go back to the days of watching tiny blue creatures in white hats and gloves that solved whatever one problem they had in less than 30 minutes. To think that all problems can be wrapped up in a nice, neat little package and conquered so effortlessly. I also wonder if this is making our youth even more competitive than they already are.

Have you seen the show? What are your thoughts on it?

I think my sister was right July 26, 2008

For this past week, I have been watching C and his future step-brother Kaiser in the evenings and mornings. Not the entire week, but the majority of it. Matt’s fiance’s niece drowned last Sunday, so of course Matt and Jessica rushed to be by Jessica’s sister’s side. I volunteered to watch both boys so that they could take care of what needed to be.

We’ve had fun! I love getting the extra time with C, and Kaiser has really matured and is pretty fun too. He’s just over 4 years old. In the wake of such a tragedy, it’s easy to remember how precious every life is and cherish the time with your loved ones.

Cherished time over!

This morning I got to Matt’s at 8am, so he could go back down to be with Jessica and her sister for the funeral. As soon as I got here, the boys woke up. No biggie. C climbed onto the couch and lay down with me, we cuddled for a while and watched some t.v. Matt was still here, and Kaiser was being good. Matt’s mom showed (insert super dramatic eye roll here) and then the two of them left.

Thinking back on it now, Matt’s mom may be where this morning started going downhill. I really cannot stand that woman. She loves the crap out of my son, which is fantastic. But let me write for you our dialog this morning. I am not exaggerating at all. This is our conversation ver batim. Keep in mind that we haven’t seen one another in probably 6-9 months.

Me: Hi Carlee.

Carlee: Hi boys! (Talking to C and Kaiser)

Me:…

Carlee: Matt, I brought you 2 jars of my jam.

Matt: Cool! Thanks.

Carlee: (To me, surprisingly) I got 2 ribbons at the fair for my jam. My raspberry got a blue ribbon! And then my strawberry jam got a red ribbon.

Me: Oh wow, cool.

Carlee: That’s first and second place.

Me: Ya, that’s awesome.

Carlee: And I got another prize for $25.

Me: Really?

Carlee: Cash.

Me: Oh…cool. (Slightly confused. I didn’t expect she’s get $25 in biscuits or anything.)

Hold on, the boys are hungry…

Okay. Now I know the conversation with Carlee wasn’t mean, and she wasn’t insulting me. But in a backhanded way I feel like she is. Never does she ever ask how I am doing, or what’s new with me. It’s always all about Carlee. Wouldn’t you think you’d be interested in the life of the person who is raising your grandchild at least 50% of the time? I’d like to think I will be if C ever decides to have kids!

So the whole Carlee experience happened. Her and Matt left. And immediately C and Kaiser start bickering. Not full blown arguing, but it was enough to get on my short, fragile nerves. I am the mother to one most of the time, well behaved son. 50% of the time. Half of the time. Not all of the time. Not 2 kids all of the time, or even 2 kids half of the time. I realize that there are parents out there doing it on their own 100% of the time, and those people are my hero’s. I did it for 6 months on my own, with immense support and help from family and friends and it was SO FREAKING HARD. I cannot imagine 18+ years doing it on my own. The women and men who are out there doing it alone right now, I just want to hug them. No, better yet, I want to send them on vacay for a week with their friends. Maybe I should start a charity for that…we’ll call it KSPS, Keeping Single Parents Sane. Because seriously…they need that.

It’s been 2 hours since Matt and his mom left, and I’m already pulling my hair out. Right now is the longest they’ve gone without bickering, and it’s only because they have their mouths full of breakfast. I have seen a few death glares though. What that was for, I have no idea. They are each eating what they wanted for breakfast, and I’m letting them sit in front of Nickelodeon while they eat. Once they are done eating and I know they aren’t choking on their breakfast, I am going to shower as quickly as possible, get them dressed and ready for the day and we are headed to the park. I’m packing us a picnic lunch, and we are going to spend the day at a place where they can run around and scream and yell until their little boy hearts are content.

In April my dear friend Leann gave birth to her second baby girl. I was fortunate enough to get to witness the miracle of life when Alyssa first entered our world. I’m a sentimental person to begin with, so of course seeing one of my best friends give birth to a beautiful baby girl put me on emotional overdrive. I had just watched my niece enter the world a month and a half before that, and 2 other close friends had just recently had babies.

While leaving the hospital after Alyssa’s birth, I called my sister boasting about how proud I was of Leann, and how perfect Alyssa was. I told my sister, “Being around all of these newborns, and seeing the births of babies really makes me want to have another one!” I was telling my sister something I truly wanted to do at that point, which was a big thing to say, because C wasn’t planned, and honestly I had never planned to have kids. My sister laughed at me! She really honestly laughed at the thought of me having another kid, and she said, “Ummmm no! You do not need another kid. One is enough for you!”

I think she was onto something…

Christian is going to be a big brother! July 22, 2008

Before you get any crazy ideas, let me just say, HELL NO! I’m not pregnant. Jessica, Matt’s fiance is pregnant. Now I have some thoughts on this that I will keep to myself. Most of them are centered around the fact that this wasn’t an accident, and that my personal opinion…well never mind. My personal opinion doesn’t matter.

Christian is going to be a big brother, and he is very excited about this. I am really very happy for him. He is going to be an amazing big brother. He is such a caring and compassionate kid. I really hope that he doesn’t decide that he hates this child once it’s born. Or, even worse, that he loves it so much he relentlessly nags me about having one. Ohhh…that would be the worst!

What I’ve been Up To June 25, 2008

C

We had my little man’s 8th birthday party this last weekend. So.Much.Fun. I got him an electric guitar. With an amplifier. Yes, a real one. No, I did not loose my brain. I also bought him an electronic drum set with an attached keyboard when he was 4. I don’t see why everyone is always so excited to questions a parents sanity when they buy their children instruments. It’s something C is passionate about. That makes me crazy? To encourage my sons musical interests? Whatever! They’re my ear drums, not yours!

This is the guitar. Isn’t it the cutest thing you’ve ever seen? I went into the guitar store with every intention of buying C an acoustic guitar. And then I saw this one. I fell head over heels in love with this guitar. Add int to the cuteness factor is its size. It is 3/4 of the size of an average adult guitar. I mean seriously. How could I resist? And this guitar and the amp I had to buy separately were cheaper than a quality acoustic kids guitar. I think the coolness of this guitar is amazing. C loved it! We are now trying to find someone who does lessons and is a good kids teacher!

 

 

 

 

The Mystery of B

The Mystery of B is solved! Finally, right? I finally told him, “Listen, I didn’t get it. I don’t understand what you want!” Long story short…turns out he had just ended a very long, serious relationship before we met. He needs some time to be single for a while, which I totally get. When I left Matt I promised myself I would be single for at least a year. It was hands down the best thing I ever did for myself. I still dated, but I just couldn’t do a relationship. He told me that he loved what we have, and that he doesn’t want to loose me. That I was beautiful, and smart and so much fun. All of the things you want to hear. But I am taking them all with a grain of salt. Although I understand where he is coming from, that doesn’t mean I’m putting all of my eggs in that one basket. He’s got his “friend” coming into town Friday. All I have to say is thank GAWD I will be in Vegas when she is in town. Oh…by the way, I’m going to Fabulous Las Vegas tomorrow! Hurray for Vegas!!!

Vegas

My friends Leann, Lisa, Rose Petal Dusthole and I are going to Las Vegas tomorrow for a nice long weekend getaway. We are celebrating Leann’s birthday, and the fact that we are 4 fabulous, hardworking women. We are staying at Planet Hollywood which just opened not very long ago. Can’t wait for days by the rooftop pool, and nights shaking my booty in a club!

Catch you up on more soon!

 

Let’s play catch up! June 17, 2008

C

My little man turned 8 years old Sunday. I cannot believe he is half way to driving age! These 8 years have flown by so fast. It seems like it was just a few years ago I was sending Matt to the store, and instructing Quinn not to look at me, so I could pee on a stick without my facial expressions giving it away. But alas, I was pregnant.

Matt and I aren’t having his party until this next Saturday, so Sunday C and I had a Birthday Day O’ Fun! I let him choose whatever he wanted to do. We hit up Starbucks for coffee and chocolate milk. C then decided he wanted Red Robin for lunch, followed by going to the theater to see Kung Fu Panda. I knew nothing about the moving going into it, except Jack Black and Angelina Jolie did voices. It was so funny! A really enjoyable kids film.

Funny story. I make big deals out of birthdays (especially my own!) It wasn’t a big surprise when C started telling everyone on Sunday, ”It’s my birthday!” Of course he told our waiter at Red Robin that it was his birthday. Now, Red Robin is the kind of place that you don’t want them to know it’s your birthday, because they are going to come over and make you look like a fool. After I asked for our bill, our waiter came over with 4 other waiters, wrapped balloons around C’s ears, presented him with an ice cream sundae, and announced to the whole restaurant that he was celebrating his 8th birthday, which was followed by some singing and clapping and general foolishness. C was mortified! He kept staring at me, his eyes begging me to make it end. To which, I just smiled and let him learn enjoy this attention.

After all was said and done, I said, “That was funny, wasn’t it?” And C shook his head and said, “No. That was fairly odd.” Fairly odd?!? Who is this hilarious kid and why am I so lucky that he hangs around me all the time?

B

In typical B fashion, he has totally boggled my mind again. In the past month, I have been distancing myself a little bit because I don’t want to fall for him too hard, knowing that he doesn’t want a relationship. We have seen each other probably once a week or so. He was off rafting for 2 weeks in May, so we obviously didn’t see one another then.

Last week I got an email from him saying he needed to tell me something. The jest of it is:

Hey Brooke,

There is something I need to tell you. I have a friend coming into town from the East Coast at the end of the month. She is a female, and we at one point had a brief relationship. Honesty is my only policy, and I have been exclusively dating you since we met, so I had to let you know. I really love what we have going, but knowing that there is a possibility of something happening with her while she is here, I felt you should know about this. Hope you are having a good day, blah blah blah….

B

This pissed me off for 2 reasons.

1) I thought the whole decision of the last “big conversation” we had meant that he wanted to date other people. I assumed that not wanting a relationship with me meant that he wanted the option of doing whatever the hell we wanted. Which (again assuming) I thought meant date other people. Apparently not.

2) If he hasn’t been dating other people, and only “exclusively” seeing me…why the fuck aren’t we a couple. This is a whole new gray area I’ve never been through before. I’ve done the whole “friends with benefits” thing before, and that is not what B and I have. It’s dating, and having fun, and talking almost everyday. It is essentially a relationship, hold the commitment, hold the sex. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tend to see things very black and white when it comes to dating. You are dating/in a relationship or you aren’t. And I don’t know what this whole B thing is!!!!

But…alas, we hung out on Friday night. I was with my wonderful friend Jamie (Hi Jamie!!!) and her wonderful boyfriend Dave and B joined us. We had a lot of fun. (I desperately needed to get out of the house after being sick for a week!) When we are together, it feels like it’s a relationship. Even though I know it isn’t. I’m not being stupid. I’m not hanging on thinking maybe he will decide that he does want a relationship with me. I’m just enjoying whatever the crap it is that we have right now. Because it is so.much.fun!

It still bugs the hell out of me that he told me this “friend” is coming into town and something may happen between them. I am assuming (man I assume a lot, maybe that is my problem!) that he just means like intimately, not relationship-y. I am more of a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell kind of a girl. I’ve made out with a few boys since B and I have had The Conversation, but I certainly haven’t told him about it or given him a heads up that it’s going to happen. I mean, really, why would I? We aren’t in a relationship apparently. We aren’t committed to one another, but yet he is throwing around the word “exclusive” and telling me he’s probably going to be breaking that “exclusivity” at the end of the month. I just don’t get it.

Sickness

I’m feeling a lot better. I still have a nasty cough, but I can breath again. The headache, fever, and nasal congestion are gone now. Thank goodness. I can deal with a cough as long as the rest of it is gone. Yeehaw!

 

I know I should be grateful, but… June 5, 2008

Sometimes it is so frustrating!

Logically, I know that I am very lucky to have such a great relationship with Matt. He is a wonderful dad to C, we get along really well for the most part, and he is really involved in C’s life. But sometimes that is that problem!

For instance…C’s birthday party is in 3 weeks. Have invitations gone out? Nope! Have we even decided on a place to have it? Nope! Has Matt returned my messages from the beginning of this week saying we need to get this all figured out? Nope!

Part of me thinks it was easier the first couple of years after we broke up and pretty much avoided one another. Separate birthday parties, separate planning. I know, I know, this is better for C. And it is nice to have some help. I just wish my help would call me back! I’m used to being the planner, and the decorator and the decision maker. I’m *this close* to just making the plans on my own and calling him tonight to give him the details!

I know that I should be bouncing off the wall, celebrating the fact that my ex is mature (now) and is not only willing to participate (now) in the throwing of parties and raising of our son, but is excited about it. Sometimes though, I really don’t want to have to run my plans and ideas by someone else. I want to make the decision and have that be it. I don’t want to wait for someone to get back to me. I don’t want to have an Iron Man themed birthday party. I don’t want to invite people I don’t know! And I most certainly do not want there to be 60 or 70 people again this year!!! That is just too many people for a kids birthday party!!!

Phew….I feel better now. Blog, Matt thanks you. He doesn’t know it, but you just saved him an earful!

“Mom, what’s a strip club?” May 23, 2008

Oy vey!

That is a question I got to answer this morning on the way to school. I always get the fun questions!

Now, I think this came up because the recent Grand Theft Auto game recently came out. Now, I am no video came connoisseur, but this series of games I am pretty sure has strip clubs and prostitutes in it. Therefore, I deemed it not appropriate for my almost 8 year old son. Obviously.

Somewhere along the line I swear Christian had told me that his dad had purchased, and let him play, this recent game in the series. I figured Matt wouldn’t let C play something that was not appropriate for him, so one evening we were at our friends Chris and Liz’s house, and C asked to play. I figured if Matt had let him play, there was no harm in me letting him play for a few minutes. “Maybe it was the last version that had hookers in it,” I thought to myself.

While C was playing, Liz’s son Mason informed me that there were in fact strip clubs in this latest version. Of course I made C turn the game off immediately. And he hasn’t been able to play since. Although when I walked in, C’s character was taking a girl on a date to a bowling alley. So it may be that he didn’t make it to the strip club scene.

So…this morning I am asked by my 2nd grader what a strip club is. As quickly as I can, I run through the options in my head. I can 1) Totally lie to him and make something up. Like it’s a resturant where they serve strip steak, or 2) Tell him the truth, without giving him too vivid of a mental image.

So I told him that it was a club where people danced with little to no clothes on. And he blushed, bless his soul, and said, “Oh.”

And that was the end of it. I really hope that in the future Matt starts getting some of these questions. I don’t want to answer the hard questions anymore!