Since Sushi Boy has been unemployed for a few months, he cancelled his cable and Internet to save money. Smart man. Well, since I am now pretty much living here, and now am unemployed we decided that we need to get Internet back in the house ASAP. It really is the most efficient way for us to look for jobs, and feel like we have a connection to the outside world. We’re in that stage of our relationship where we still live and breathe one another, and the world revolves around our family and home. This leaves us somewhat lacking in the knowledge of the outside world though.
So, last week I called up the kind folks at a Large Corporate Company that services this area and told them we needed Internet and whatever cable package that allowed Sushi Boy to watch the Speed Channel. (He’s a racing junkie, but I don’t hold that against him.) So we made an appointment for this last Tuesday from 10-noon. It was my birthday, but no biggie. We weren’t planning anything too big anyway as this cable/Internetthing is really our big splurge (as sad as that sounds) on unemployment. So Tuesday morning comes, and our unemployment payments have not been deposited yet. (Oh just wait, I have many many more bitches about the joys of unemployment!) So I call Large Corporate Company and reschedule the appointment to the next available time, which is Thursday from noon-2. Okay, I can wait until Thursday. Sushi Boy and I take off to go get some Birthday Starbucks, and come home to find a service order in the mailbox from the install techinician. Duh we weren’t home, we had rescheduled! So I call the number he left me, and left him a voicemail explaining the situation. About an hour later I get a call from the company disbatch saying we were scheduled for today, but we missed our appointment. I corrected him, and told him what had happened and that I had rescheduled for Thursday between 12 and 2. He appologized and told me that he didn’t see that on his schedule, but he would make sure the change was made.
So Thursday (yesterday) comes and Sushi Boy and I pop out of bed to prepare for the Cable Guy. I attack the office making sure Cable Guy can find his way to the computer and have room to work, and Sushi Boy takes care of hiding all of the porn in the bedroom. (Haha, just kidding…maybe.)
We’re still diligently working away when noon hits. I finally finish up the office and help Sushi Boy clean his room. Keep in mind Sushi Boy had been living the Bachelor Life until we met and his room reflected that. His bedroom is now my favorite room in the house. He has GORGEOUS wood floors. Seriously beautiful. We have lovely, soft silken sheets and a dual control electric blanket the bed is sooo cozy and inviting. Anyhow…I digress.
So noon comes and goes. As does 1 pm and 1:30 pm. At about 1:45 Sushi Boy looks at me and says, “I don’t think he’s coming, babe.” I, ever the optimist, reply, “Oh no, he’ll be here. It’s not 2 yet.” Hahaha. Being an optimist is sometimes a let down.
At 2:15 I call the 1.800 number, explain the situation and the dumbass that I’m talking to tells me that I missed my appointment on Tuesday and nothing has been rescheduled. All matter of fact like, like I am just making shit up because no one at their company could have made a mistake. I’m furious. I tell her I had actually rescheduled it TWICE for the same time with TWO DIFFERENT people, and have spent my whole day at home waiting on the freaking Cable Guy. She puts me on hold for about 12 hours, and comes back with the news that dispatch can’t send someone out until the beginning of next week. Bull shit. That will not fly with me. I am a pretty impatient person. When I set my mind on something I WANT IT NOW! I tell her that simply will not do, and I will call a competitor if I have to. So, I get put on hold for another 12 hours, and she comes back and tells me that dispatch told her they can have someone out the next morning. I told her to put us down for that, but I will be calling dispatch myself.
So I called the gentleman who called me on Tuesday to inform me that we had missed our appointment. I never got put through to him, but some gem of a woman named Kylie found a technician who was in the area who had a 4-6 scheduled and would be willing to come over after that, if that was okay with us. I was most certainly okay with that. I would have totally tongue kissed Kylie through the phone if that was an option.
Sushi Boy and I did some more cleaning around the house. I organized baby clothes (Sushi Boy’s baby girls is due in 4 weeks! We are sooo excited!), made a weekly menu (Sushi Boy and I are on a health kick) and then Sushi Boy challenged me to a game of Life. We have been on a Life kick lately and I have been thoroughly whooping his ass. Apparently he used to be the raining King of Life in his family, and is not okay with his girlfriend being the Life Champion, so we play a lot so he can attempt to take back the crown.I usually dominate, but last night he not only beat me, he set a new high score for money accumulated at the end of the game. Around 6:15 pm, and part way through The Game of Life I tell Sushi Boy, “I bet you$5,000 Life Dollars that Cable Guy isn’t here before this game is over.” My optimism was gone. By 6:45 Cable Guy was not here, I had lost my ass in The Game of Life. I was NOT a happy girl.
“You call,” I told Sushi Boy. “You’re better at being mean!” So Sushi Boy called Large Corporate Company and they said the tech would be here by 7:10 pm. At this point I had lost all hope. I really thought they were just telling us this and someone would show up the next morning.
Low and behold, at 7:22 pm, there is a knock on the door and it is a Cable Guy! I’m shocked. I start anxiously showing him where the cable should be installed and the Internet. Sushi Boy takes over and starts talking to him about the wiring, and I sneak off to the kitchen to rejoice in the thought of updating my blog and stalking all of my favorite bloggers once again.
Cable Guy retreats outside to climb poles in the dark, or something like that I thought. As I’m putting the finishing touches on dinner, Sushi Boy tells me, ”Did you catch the alcohol on Cable Guy’s breath? I think he stopped and had a few beers before he got here.” I just laughed, there wasn’t anything that could get me down at this point! I didn’t care if he was tripping on acid, as long as he got us hooked up before he left.
So after about 30 minutes of being outside, Cable Guy comes back in and does his business. After another 30 minutes of so he comes out and says he is done, and asks for the payment that is required. I hand him my credit card and he looks at his watch and makes a funny face. I ask if there is a problem, and he says no, but he doesn’t think the office is still open. He comes into the office and I hear him on the phone with someone, asking if he can still take a credit card payment. The guys says no, the office is closed but he can take a check or just bill us, or wait on hold with the 1.800 number for 20+ minutes.
So I hear the genius call the 1.800 number and start to hold. Then he comes out to the living room and sits down on the floor and starts watching TV with us while he has his phone on speakerphone on hold. Which makes it nearly impossible to hear the TV. So I turn the TV up *hint*hint* and he continues to sit there on the floor, crosslegged watching American Idol with Sushi Boy and I. At this point I get irritated. I want him to just leave, and let me watch TV with Sushi Boy. After about 10 minutes, he turns and asks me if I have a check. I say no, I don’t have one on me. He explained that he can just have them charge us, and I said yes! That’s fine! No need for you to waste your night here. He looks at the Rock Band instruments in the corner and says, “Or we can just play Rock Band while I’m on hold?”
WHAT THE FUCK!!! Really? This half drunk, and now it looks like he’s also half stoned Cable Guy is inviting himself to hang out with us and play Rock Band?!? By this point it’s past 8:30 pm. Sushi Boy and I are incredibly lame and normally are in bed by 8:30 at night. And this random Cable Guy wants to hang out with us and play video games. Oh no, I think not.
I look at him, and laugh and say, “No, there is no need for you to waste your night hanging out here. I’ll just call them tomorrow and take care of it, or you can have them bill us.” I was trying not to be a bitch about it, and kind of laughed as I said it, because I am so non-confrontational. So Cable Guy stands up and realizes that he has stuff for us to sign. I sign the papers and assume he’s going to be heading out the door now. Nope! First he’s going to hang around and watch this person audition on American Idol. Seriously!
Finally, he left. And then Sushi and I crawled into bed and fell in love with cable.
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